A lot of these “wellness” events are cults. They thrive on your need for community. Careful of the ones that say they have all the answers or they are enlightened. Don’t let the weirdos have your energy.

I’m a hermit so I can’t be indoctrinated lmao.

-FABA.

The blueprint is always there. I learned that it’s always right in front of you. It’s so easy to be distracted but once you reflect & then take that moment to dissect. The stars align.

-FABA.

I been thinking about the meaning of Authenticity in today’s realm. What even is being “authentic”? I get that at its base form it’s of-course being yourself & being honest & transparent. More often then not I feel as if it’s just a characteristic that people use to manipulate your perception & sell you on it. After all we are selling something even it’s not monetary, we are all playing a character in it all. So I want to ask this to you, how do you get down to the root of your authenticity?

-FABA.

good hiatus. seen a lot. loved a lot. ate a lot. see you in October. Excited to be creative again.

-FABA.

“They aren’t better than you, they aren’t more talented. They just aren’t silent.”

-FABA.

the truth is I never wanted to be apart of a industry & I hate Spotify so I don’t upload to Spotify. Also a label offered me 175k when I dropped swans sings. the fuck I’m suppose to do with 175k. Now 500k we could’ve done it. so after I just want to make music for the little cult I have on this website. we’ll grow from there.

-FABA.

the goal is to fade into obscurity in about 2 years & then act like I don’t know anybody.

-FABA.

PRAY FOR LA

FUCK TRUMP

-FABA.

The goal was always to get to a point where I don’t have to be bothered. I mean that in a way of I don’t have to be bothered with the politicking, with the games, with the overall silly back & forth the creative scenes & certain professional scenes have to offer.

In the these past few months & going forward I have been blessed with so many new opportunities that have went better then expected that it’s hard for me to feel like I can connect with that old experience again. Of almost feeling like you trying to survive amongst crabs in a bucket.

I’m hitting a point now where I can do whatever I want & create whatever I want & express whatever I want without the need to worry about the numbers of it or will this be “successful” or not.

Anyways, whatever you do. Make sure you get to that point of freedom because there is nothing like this feeling.

-FABA.

* At what point do we truly get mad & face our oppressors head on? At what point will you die for the passion of your people?

-FABA.

-FABA.

* Shifting your mindset & perspective can be such an impossible task when the ego/mind are so in control. This year for me has been all about fully detaching from that mindset & gaining full control of myself. In order to do that you almost have to do the opposite, you have to release any control & center yourself in the present & in the spirit rather than in the mind.

I feel like until now have I fully been able to do that.

I released control to the powers at be & accepted myself , the people & things around me , the dynamics of it all and realized I don’t know shit & I can’t judge shit. I’m a student of it all & yes I can have standards or boundaries for myself but I can’t expect that out of someone else or be harsh to those who don’t live up to those things.

-FABA.

* To all that view this blog of mine , I’m deeply sorry for my absence. I need my time to grow & soak life in so I can be able to express & reciprocate all my emotions & views back out to the world. I have been making sure to spend more time alone & read more & dive deeper into my spirit. There are so many forms of meditation that have been exciting me & cause me to want to pull my focus to within.

The most recent spiritual adventure of mine has been past life regression therapy. It pushes you to figure out who you are, what you are & that you are everything & have been everything. You have been the worst things about you & you have been the most gorgeous things about you thru out time. It was a beautiful experience getting to feel that & understand myself in a deeper way. I push everyone to explore yourself to the fullest, it’s a blessing.

-FABA.

* Today marks the first time I ever accomplished all of my goals in a given year. The amount of accomplishment that l

-FABA.

* It’s crazy what people you love can feel towards you & never say it. Your loved ones can throw stones & hide their hands. I been trying to be more forgiving & holding more space in my heart for them. Because their ego is what caused them to have this fire towards me. In moments like these it makes me wonder if maybe I’m doing something wrong, even tho I give them the floor to express how they feel is that room not enough? Do they need a castle & all I’m offering them is a house? But I can’t get caught up in thoughts like those, because if you loved me you wouldn’t strike me down & you would speak highly of me the same I speak highly of you but that’s life & that’s love. I wish things didn’t have to go that way.

-FABA.

* Chapter closed. I feel like im blooming into something beautiful. Ideas are running crazy, my passion is regaining & that’s all I ever needed.

* The more I grow in all the endeavors I partake in. The more I analyze the field for what it is. The more I think the way of ethics & decency don’t exist in these spaces. They’re all wolves or wolves in sheep’s clothing. I never felt scared or intimidated by any of it, I have always moved with grace & ensured my standards were always being met with who stays around me. But the more & more I hold my standards high the more I ask myself were any of these people ever like me or was their core always burdened with purely negative or even are we all that take this path destined to operate like the wolves.

-FABA.

* I wonder what you did last night. Did you close your eyes & see me, like I seen you?

-FABA.

* Stay hydrated.

2 glasses of wine.

200 pushups.

200 sit ups.

Thank the powers at be for everything.

-FABA.

* Today marks the first day of the gallery I put together. Their has never been a strict path or plan for me any further then the goal of creation. I love to create things like no matter the art medium or how it comes about. Whatever pops up in this beautiful head of mine I will make happen. I truly am grateful to the powers at be for allowing me to be who I am. Also to any one that reads this I appreciate you to death. Also I should let you know that none of my work will be shown today because I procrastinated like fuck. Love you.

-FABA.

* I often wonder how people that are closest to someone would react when you shed your skin & you let them into the good, bad & piece of shit parts of you. I feel like one of my only fears is truly opening up to someone. I do try my hardest but I feel like there is always that layer of skin between us, they’re never at my flesh. I hide behind my asshole like behavior even to my close ones, I love them too death but the shield & gates to the castle are still up. My goal is to let someone absolutely obliterate the castle.

-FABA.

* “ I never wish to be easily defined. I’d rather float over other people’s minds as something strictly fluid and non-perceivable. More like a transparent, paradoxically iridescent creature rather than an actual person”

- Franz Kafka, 23 March 1914.

* These “influencers” & event curators in this city & industry are fuckin weirdos. Misusing they influence & they circles & homies not holding these weirdos accountable. Then sit & talk “peace, love & community”. If you feel offended by this you probably one of them. Thank god for always bringing people’s true colors to light for me. God blessed Orca. See you Friday O.

-FABA.

* Haven’t been on the blog for a while, sorry for my absence. I been highly focused yet in full dissociation at the same time. Somewhere in the middle is the perfect fine line. Between all this art I create & the love that’s being made. I been living in a blissful tragedy. The highs are heaven & the lows are fucking bedrock. I love that shit though.

-FABA.

* Slight hiatus away from the blog, life got busy & my mind gets lost in so many things. As of recent I had to sit & realize how people project their issues onto someone else. I noticed that sometimes unknowingly, the people close to you will project their insecurities or their shame on to you. At times, people will say something to you & try to diminish your decisions & your choices, not in a means of trying to offer constructive advice but only to put you down or hold you to their standards. Through growing up & going through different industries & being very blessed to have the opportunities I have had at a young age. I started to notice that sometimes the people around you will try to inflict their shame, insecurities & misery on to you. I guess I’m just here to tell myself & whoever is reading this that fuck all of that. Remember that once you reach a level of truly knowing yourself & confidence , you know what is best for you. Trust your intuition & your discernment. Handle those people tryna bring you down with grace but always check that shit real quick. Be confident, in your skin, in your abilities & everything that makes up whoever the fuck you are. Don’t let nobody try to put you down or make you share their misery. Ight I’m done talking for the day.

-FABA.